PART 3: WALKING BY MY SIDE

The following months were difficult, but necessary.

Matthew and I began to work seriously on our relationship and the way we made decisions.

He had spent years trying to solve problems before I could face them.

Sometimes he would start looking for an answer before I had finished explaining the problem. Then he would stop and ask:

—What do you think?

At first, I didn’t know how to respond.

After so many years of receiving help, making decisions completely independently was difficult for me.

Little by little, I learned.

One afternoon I made a business decision that Matthew clearly disagreed with. I saw concern on his face, but he didn’t intervene.

“What do you need from me?” he asked.

—Nothing—I replied.

He paused and then nodded.

-OK.

Whether I succeeded or failed, the final result would belong to me.

That freedom mattered more than avoiding all mistakes.

Almost a year after that phone call, I found myself backstage at the launch of my own publishing house.

The former Ashley would have looked for an excuse to disappear.

Instead, I went up on stage.

I spoke with confidence.

I trusted my own voice.

Then I noticed Matthew, sitting in the back row next to his father.

The older man leaned towards him.

—You should be proud.

Matthew smiled.

—I always have been. I simply learned that loving her also means respecting the person she chooses to become.

For most of our lives, one of us had always gone ahead while the other followed.

Matthew believed that loving meant clearing my path of all obstacles.

I believed that being loved meant allowing another person to always show me the safest direction.

We both had to learn.

True love is not about directing another person’s path, even when the intentions are good.

It also involves respecting their right to doubt, choose, make mistakes, recover, and grow.

Matthew no longer walked ahead of me, trying to lead me toward the future he believed I deserved.

I wasn’t waiting behind him to guide me either.

For the first time, we were simply walking side by side.